Illusion of Security

My day job requires me to enter into a lot of people's yards. Recently, we've reached a part of Vancouver where the houses are bigger, the dogs are meaner, and almost every house has a gate and a fence. These aren't the normal gates though, the nice ones where you walk up to, open the gate, and walk in. Oh no, these gates are the ones that require you to buzz an electronic system (with camera and speakerphone) in order to gain access. These people have built their fortresses for security, but a lot of the time, it is merely an illusion.

For example, a lot of people will have two gates, one of which is locked, the other is wide open. What purpose does the locked gate serve? Does it keep me out of your yard? Would it prevent a burgler? Other gates are locked, but the fence stops three feet short of the gate, allowing access. Some people have incredible security on the front of their houses, but not the back, signs warning against dogs, but no dogs, and alarm company logos next to doors that are propped open or unlocked.

I've decided that for the most part, people are seeking the illusion of security as much as they are seeking actual security. It is merely the sense of feeling safe that we as humans so desperately desire. It doesn't matter if the fence will actually keep out someone intending to rob us, because in actuality, not even a six foot fence would stop a determined man. But just knowing that it is there, and that it might deter someone, even if just for awhile, is worth it.

I think a lot of us wish that we had more financial security. So we build up an illusion of security around us, by ignoring our debts, or by pretending our credit limit is high enough to handle emergencies. Maybe we have a small emergency fund set aside, but no plan for a job loss or retirement. Financially, there are a lot of things that we could, and perhaps should be worried about, but we think we're okay as long as at least one of our gates are locked.

Where are the unlocked gates in your life? Do you feel secure? Are you one paycheck away from being broke? Do you want a sense of security, a sense of serenity? I know I do.

Combining Finances: Starting to Date

This post is the second post of a series on Combining Finances.

When two people begin to date, money is often the last thing that they want to talk about. However, money can also begin to cause a number of problems early in the relationship that may not be able to be repaired unless they are quickly and properly addressed.

When a man and a woman go out on a date - who pays? For a number of decades, this was not even a question that ought to be asked. The man would take the woman on the date, and he would pay for the meal, or the movie, or the drinks. Alongside equal employment and wages, however, came a shift towards equal payment on dates. A man and a woman would go out on a date, and they might each pay for their own meal. Or, they might take turns paying for dates, switching between them in order to simplify the dates. No longer can a woman assume that her boyfriend will pay for all of their dates.

Addressing the "who pays for dates" question is one that should come up early on in the dating relationship. It's not the only question that will arise, and its not the only one that must be answered. What happens when one invites the other over for dinner? Does one pay for all the food, and is that going to be reciprocated?

When Ashley and I started to date, we spent the majority of the time at her apartment. My apartment was shared with two other guys, so space and privacy was severely limited. However, that meant that we also spent a lot of the time eating out of Ashley's fridge and cupboards. We had to address if I would bring my own food, if I would feed her, or if she would feed me. I think we both felt the desire to keep it somewhat "fair", but establishing what is and isn't fair becomes and incredibly complicated procedure when you also include who does dishes or cleans up after.

My advice to those that are beginning to date is to talk openly about financial expectations. Your greatest chance for success is going to come when you are able to establish who is paying for what. It is going to be uncomfortable, but a lot of conversations that you have are going to be awkward. Avoiding awkward or uncomfortable conversations is just going to prolong and worsen the situation.

Talk about:

• Dates (how often, who pays)
  
• Food (where, what kind, shared or individual)
• Commuting (where are you going to meet, hang out, is it farther for one person? does only one of you have a vehicle? will the other share gas costs?)

As it is with so many other things in life, taking action now will reduce the potential for pain later. Establish how you're going to go about dating, financially, and you'll reduce the chance for missed communication and misunderstanding.

Money Well Spent Part II

In my previous post on money well spent, I explained some of my thoughts on the relationship between money and experiences. Essentially, I feel that while refraining from spending money on frivolous expenses, such as lattes, is the "right" thing to do financially, it isn't always the best choice. Instead, I argued that certain experiences are worth the money.

Let me take that idea a little bit further. One of the reasons that this whole idea came up was because I have often read about how much money a person can save simply by cutting back on small everyday purchases, like coffee. They say that $4 a day is like $1400/year, and that's a huge amount of money saved, and that's true! You can't argue with the math. Therefore, some financial experts recommend cutting back on certain expenses, like four dollar lattes, in order to save yourself a huge amount of money. And I agree with them.

This might sound like it is in contrast to my previous post, and my previous point, but it is not. While I did advocate certain experiences, I did not encourage certain expenses. The difference comes from the originality and uniqueness of the experience. The reason that the cafe crawl we went on was so good was because a) I had never done it before, b) I had a great time with old friends and new friends, and c) I got a memory I can cherish for years to come. A daily latte cannot, and will not do that.

In fact, I would argue that a four dollar latte on a regular basis would actually cheapen the experience. If I drank coffee every single day, having a coffee is no longer special. Just ask my fiance, who works at a coffee shop. When she first started working, she would drink free coffee (because its free!) until she was sick and couldn't sleep at night. Now, she's learned to moderate herself, but there is nothing unique or special about drinking coffee, as it is done on a regular basis.

As soon as a fun, cherished moment becomes routine, it also becomes mundane. If you are buying a coffee out of sheer habit, then stop. It's not worth the money. Save your money for something unique, an experience, a present, a treat. Not only will you save money, that four dollar latte will become the treat, the present, and the experience. And that's worth paying for.

New Site?

One of my goals when I started writing this blog was to see if I could start making money online. My day job is a casual position, meaning that when there is no work, I do not work. Most of the time, I get full time hours, but about a month ago I was only getting 3 or 4 shifts a week. Money is tight, what with saving for a wedding, trying to pay rent, and staying out of debt. So after a few days off, I wanted to see if I could start making money while "working" from home.

My initial foray into the world of making money online came through Associated Content. I created an account, started writing content, and even managed to attract the attention of a PR manager and a category editor. I even got one of my articles featured! Now, this hasn't been the most profitable venture to date, as during the month that I've been apart of the site, I've made about eighty cents. Which, actually, is a fair bit more than I thought I would have earned by now.

When I started looking at various online money making sources, one of the one that attracted me was blogging for money. Essentially, you create a blog, get followers, and somehow monetize it, whether through advertising, selling paid posts, sponsorships, etc. I'm not a huge fan of any of those options, sadly, but I do have an idea or two for the future. The problem is, before I want to try to make money off a blog, I need to have a readership. And the best way to get readership is to put yourself out there. And the best way to put yourself out there is to brand yourself. And blog.alan.schram doesn't exactly scream "personal finance".

So I've started messing around with a few options. One of the potential ideas can be seen here. It's a blog that will eventually be called "Saving For Serenity", and that is a potential look for the new site. What do you think? The site explains a bit more about what it would be, the ethos, the direction, the motivation. Let me know what you think.